by Marsha Inman, Friends & Family Director
Prayer is the Key
When friends and family come to Living Hope, they expect to hear the answer to how to help their loved one turn away from a gay or transgender identity. It’s a wonderful thought, but in reality, that’s not how change happens. Change comes through heart change, and only God can change hearts.
Our hearts, or our feelings, can be influenced by our experiences, both good and bad. The good experiences are like positive deposits in our lives, and the bad ones are withdrawals from our healthy sense of self. The parents who come to LHM are overwhelmingly conscientious Christian parents who strove or are still striving to raise their children to know and love God. Of course, no parents are perfect, but there was no intentional harm. Remember that even the best of parents can’t control the outside influences on their children – how their peers treat them, difficulties that come their way, and how their child interprets those things. This is why it is a lifelong need for parents to continue to make good deposits in their child’s life. The older their child becomes, the less opportunity they have for making those deposits, but creativity and intentionality can make a difference.
So, what ARE you able to do as a parent?
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “All I can do is just pray,” as if it were a last resort after everything else had failed. If that has been your view of prayer, and you’ve put it last on your list of options, I hope you’re open to seeing prayer as a primary resource, not a last-ditch effort, when you’ve exhausted everything else.
You may have a low opinion of the efficacy of prayer because life has thrown you and your child this curveball. Maybe you’re discouraged because the answers are not coming as quickly as you expected. Perhaps you are not even sure if God hears your prayers or if He cares about your concerns. He does. (Matt. 10:29-31)
We are encouraged to “approach the throne of grace with confidence” in our time of need (Heb. 4:15-16). It pleases God when we pray (Prov. 15:8) – why would He not desire to respond? Some people feel you must use a certain script when you pray or exhibit a certain level of belief, but the Bible doesn’t support those assumptions. (Mark 9:24) The attitude of your heart is more important than the words you say or the structure it takes.
Jesus was a man of prayer and assumed that we would pray (Matt. 6:5-7), so He evidently deemed it important. How can we be assured that God hears us? We are told, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles” (Ps. 34:17). Approach your time in prayer for your child with confidence that God wants to hear from you and be thankful (Phil. 4:6) that He hears and desires to return them to His presence. Answered prayer is not conditional on how much you believe (Mk. 9: 22b-24) but in the faithfulness of the One you are petitioning. Approach the Lord with a clean heart (Ps. 24: 3-4) – by asking forgiveness for sins you know of and trust that the blood of Christ covers those you committed unknowingly.
Will God answer?
I can’t explain why God doesn’t answer our prayers as quickly as we would like (Deut. 29:29). He may be working on something in your child – or in you – that He needs to accomplish before those prayers can be answered. He will not do a hurried or halfway job but a perfect one. You are the only one you can change. Reflect on what your child’s struggle reveals about you that He might want you to work on while you wait to see the answers to your prayers.
Pray more about your child’s spiritual needs than you do about the physical manifestations of their struggle. Pray that God would redeem them for His name’s sake and that their deliverance would bring Him great glory. Hold on to the truth from 2 Pet. 3:9, “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” God hears you. He sees your child. He answers prayer.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Rom. 12:12